just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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