dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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