worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
