She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm getting married
To pizza
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
