we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
