So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
