Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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