i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
