11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
