Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
