I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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