I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
