Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
They left me at home... I'm a liability
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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