How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
