I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize