i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize