I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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