so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize