i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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