Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
