All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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