i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize