Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
