Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
