You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
