There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
