found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
