she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
