terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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