Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
