we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
