Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
