hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
