So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
please come you make the beer taste better
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize