I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
