3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
