Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
