my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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