I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
