I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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