i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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