Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
