Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
