why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
