Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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