Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
