He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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