did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
