he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
