Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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