I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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