I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
