Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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