Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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