My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
well you can't waste a boner
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize