He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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