She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
