he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
