I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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