1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
MIDGETS
????
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
