your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
