my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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