dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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