That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
